If Nothing Else, My Love, 2021 Gave Me You

As always, it’s the end of the year and I’ve been reflecting. Thinking of the lessons I’ve learned, the moments I’ve enjoyed, the gifts I’ve been given. I try to focus on the many things that I have to be grateful for. Even though it’s hard.

This year has brought a lot of anxiety, stress, fear, another death in my family, injuries, pain, and a fair share of rollercoasters. Being pregnant and having a baby amidst a pandemic, leaving the working world as I knew it and switching to self-employment, financial changes… all of this and more has had quite an effect on me and my mental health, and sometimes it’s so easy to let it get the better of me.

I try to end each day by thinking of three things that I’m grateful for – so surely I ought to have quite the list at the end of the year. But as I sit here writing, I find myself struggling to write such a list. Perhaps words fail me, or the fog in my mind hinders my ability to think. But actually, perhaps, the one ‘thing’ I am mostly grateful for is simply so significant that nothing else matters. It is the biggest highlight and the most important ‘thing’ that has consumed me and changed my life forever. And that ‘thing’ is my son.

I was blessed with the answer to my prayers in September 2020, when I found out I was pregnant. And it was this week a year ago that we found out we were having a boy. My pregnancy wasn’t an easy one, and my birth experience was stressful. But this boy. This sweet, sweet boy. He has been the greatest gift I could ever ask for.

Every day, even in the simplest of moments, my heart bursts with pure joy, love, adoration, and gratitude. Every smile, every cuddle, every milestone, every babble, every feed, every giggle, every knowing look. Morning snuggles in bed. Splashes of water at bath time. Laughter from tickles before bed time. Watching my son bond with my husband. Watching him take everything in, and learn about the world. Watching him get to know us. And getting to know him. Beautiful family moments. Moments I hope to treasure forever.

Even though the world and our lives are going through so much uncertainty and anxiety – and even though I never imagined living through times like these – I am still somehow living my dream and watching it grow and unfurl before my eyes as the days, weeks, months go by.

So Ben, my love. My beautiful baby boy. If 2021 has given me anything, it’s you. You are my greatest gift. I love you with all my heart. And I’ll do whatever it is that I need to do to make sure you know that. ❤️

Farewell 2021… Here’s to 2022. Please be kind to us. Lord knows we need it.

Until next time,

What was the highlight of the year for you? Be sure to let me know, and don’t forget to subscribe to my blog and YouTube channel if you enjoy my content, and follow me on Facebook and Instagram for regular updates! 🙂 x

Special thanks to Clive Xuereb for these beautiful photos.