What if I told you that everything you’re told about potty training is a lie designed to keep you buying nappies for 1-2 years longer than you actually need to?

Now I’m stating any facts here, but I potty trained both of my sons at around 14 months, and I want to share all about this journey with you, to maybe help you on your little one’s potty training journey.

I’ve shared a video explaining how I went about it, particularly focusing on my youngest son who’s just turned 14months and he’s almost completely potty trained (we started at 9 months!). You can check the video out here (yes I used the same intro). But after I filmed and edited it, I realised that there was some crucial information missing, so I’ve decided to share it all here in this blog post for you.

In my experience, because I started both my sons early, I sort of used the “elimination communication method” (more about that in the video!) – which meant that I didn’t wait for my sons to show “signs of readiness”, and instead took the initiative myself to teach them how to go.

But whether you use this technique or not, and whether you start them at newborn, 1 year, 2 years, or even later, there are some things worth knowing that are probably going to be common. So without further ado, here are 5 things you need to know before you start potty training:

  1. It’s going to be frustrating
    Much like training for anything else in life, potty training comes with its frustrations. It’s going to be messy sometimes. It’s going to be inconsistent. You’re going to have great potty days followed by totally rubbish ones. This is all a part of the process. Unless there’s a lot of hesitation from your child and you feel like a bad relationship with the potty is being formed, then you have to keep going and trust that eventually, it’s going to settle and get easier. But it’ll take time to get there. (I know there are some kids who become fully potty trained within a few days too, but that’s less common and it’s a different technique altogether, so just letting you know.)
  2. Your attitude is everything
    So we’ve established that there are going to be frustrations along the way, but here’s where it gets tricky: Your reaction is going to make a big difference. If you are forcing your child to sit, or getting angry at them, raising your voice or even punishing or shaming them when they have an accident, you’re going to not only create a setback, but also build a negative association with potty time, which can lead to further resistance and fear.

    I know it’s hard, and sometimes you’re going to slip too (we’re only human after all), but please keep in mind that the calmer you are, the safer your child feels, and the better the success is going to be.

    Oh, and when they get it right, biiig deal! Clapping, big smiles, “YAY you did it!”, etc etc. 🙂
  3. Sometimes it just doesn’t make sense
    You get a hang of their routine. You know that they pee as soon as they wake up, and approximately 20-30 minutes after a feed, or maybe even once an hour. But then sometimes they don’t pee for 3 hours. You take them to the potty just in case, once, twice, three times.. nothing, and then 5 minutes later, they’ve peed their pants. *breathe*

    You’ll have days when you feel like you’re nearing the finish line, and then out of the blue you’re on the 5th pair of pants by midday. (Speaking from experience here)

    It’s all a part of the journey. Remember that progress is NOT linear, and regressions don’t mean there’s anything wrong. You just have to stay calm and consistent, and trust that you’re going to get there eventually. (Can you sense a theme here? Much patience is required!)
  4. You need to take initiative
    Even if you’re starting them a bit later (or the more “traditional” time to start) and they’re old enough to let you know that they need to go, you still need to be tracking and trying. Putting the responsibility solely on them is a lot to ask, and they’re not always going to get it right. They might be distracted playing, they might tell you too late (while the pee is literally coming out 🙂 ), or they might forget altogether that they’re supposed to let you know.

    They’re humans in training, and this is all new territory to them! So remember that it’s you who needs to be taking initiative most of the time and not waiting for them to let you know.
  5. Consistency is key
    It might be so tempting to go back to diapers after you’ve had a few accidents. You might think maybe it’s too early, or they’re just not ready, or it’s too inconvenient (which, yes, admittedly it is), but my advice to you is to stick it out. If you’ve noticed that they’re having dry periods and have some sort of routine and can even let you know when they need to go, and you think it’s time to switch to training pants (and trust me on this – don’t use regular pants unless you fancy cleaning up puddles, in which case, go pants-less and avoid the extra laundry), then stick it out. Of course, stick to pullups or diapers or whatever you previously used when going out and for night time, and even nap time if you’re not ready to take that risk yet. But don’t give up as soon as it gets hard. That’ll just set you back further.

BONUS POINT: DO NOT USE SCREENS FOR DISTRACTIONS
For the love of God, if you need to distract your child to keep them sitting on the potty, please don’t resort to TV, phone or tablet. Use toys. Sing songs. Read books. There are even great potty related books that can be kept just for potty time! I know it can be so tempting to go for screens but let’s encourage healthy toileting habits from early on. Yes? 🙂

Remember that when you start potty training, it’s not about how quickly you can get to the finish line. It’s about teaching your child to recognise and communicate their cues, to feel comfortable and gain confidence when using the potty, and to learn and adapt to this new stage of their life.

It takes time, it requires patience, and yes it can get messy, but it’s only temporary. You’ll get there when you get there.

And I promise, you will get there.

One potty trip at a time. 🙂

NB: Please remember that all of this is generalised advice, and I am not a professional potty training consultant or anything of the sort. I’m “just a mom” sharing my experience and knowledge with you in the hope to help you have an easier potty training experience with your little one. If you have any concerns or struggles, go ahead and speak to your paediatrician or a consultant and they can guide you accordingly. ❤

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