Have you ever been on a drive with a baby scream-crying at the top of their lungs? If not, take a moment to thank the heavens for sparing you the ordeal. And if you have, you’ll probably find this post very relatable…

My firstborn hated the car from day one. The second his body would so much as touch the car seat, he would start crying. Whether the drive was 5 minutes or 50 minutes, he would cry non-stop. The kind of crying that pierces your ears and shatters your heart. (And makes you momentarily consider driving straight into a wall.)

It made the thought of going anywhere miserable, and we essentially only ever went anywhere cause we needed to. Doctor appointments, errands, the like. Outings were no longer a thing of leisure.

It took well over 2 years (and a new car seat + unfortunately putting him front-facing earlier than we wanted to – but that’s a story for another day) for him to adapt to it. To be able to go anywhere without a total meltdown. Though still now, at 4 years old, he sometimes struggles.

And now we have another baby. “Let this one, if nothing else, like being in the car”, I prayed.

Alas.

While he has so far had a slightly better track record than his brother, driving anywhere is pretty much a nightmare. And this time, not only do we have a crying baby, but often also a very upset and crying/whining/shouting 4 year old begging his baby brother to stop. My husband driving, focused and disassociated from the noise, and myself just desperately trying to breathe through it and not join in the crying.

This morning, for some reason, I woke up feeling particularly adventurous and suggested we take our first family-of-4 trip to Bratislava; about an hour’s drive away.

That’s an hour there and an hour back, to clarify.

When we set off, we were pleasantly surprised. Nearly 25 minutes of calmness. A big improvement from baby’s recent typical 10-minute threshold. 15 on a good day.

But the remaining 35 minutes were *loud*. We stopped at a hard shoulder and I settled him down for awhile, but he went straight back to crying the second I sat him back in.

Our time in Bratislava was fine; we went to a mall and just hung around and had dinner there. Then it was time to drive back… baby was asleep on me in the carrier.

I took a deep breath as I attempted the daunting transfer. But sure enough, the second I placed him ever-so-gently in his car seat, the crying began.

We took off anyway. “Let’s give him 15 minutes and then we’ll find a place to stop.”

Because really and truly, what point is there in stopping over and over again and just prolonging the torment?

“A crying baby is a breathing baby” I tell myself as I try to keep myself calm.

But the crying turns to vomiting and I hear him struggling to breathe and practically choking in it as it gargles at the back of his mouth. I twist myself back to try and soothe him with his comforter or by holding his hand, but all in vain.

Music doesn’t help, it just becomes noise and overstimulates me further.

We stopped at a fuel station. Spent nearly 20 minutes there until he’d calmed down enough for me to think we could attempt a calm remainder of the drive.

I hold my breath again. He’s in, and not crying. We drive off. And no more than 2 minutes later he’s at it again and wails the whole time until we arrive home. Poor baby covered in vomit and drenched in sweat.

“BuT mOsT bAbIeS lOvE tHe cAr” people say.

But my babies are not “most babies”. And they most certainly do *not* love the car.

I know this won’t last forever. I know that eventually this will be a thing of the past and we’ll have fun family drives together.

But for now, this is our reality. Holding our breath and nodding “good luck” to each other as we set off for each trip. Hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.

And looking forward to having calm drives again, someday ~hopefully~ soon.

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